by Ron Davis and James Lee
Twenty three of us spent a week building a sense of community and learning some of the basics of NVC framework. Eleven African Americans/Blacks, four self-identified lesbian or trans-gender; five Latino(a) and seven European American/whites and One bisexual male. The day ran from breakfast at 8:00AM to evening session over at 9:00PM. we met at the Pema Osel Ling retreat center in the mountains of Watsonville, CA.
The constant from Tuesday through Saturday was the meeting of the Empathy Groups. During the week the class work was focused on observations, thoughts, feelings, needs and request/action. We spend some time looking at processes of decolonization - its stages of Rediscovery and recovery; Mourning; Dreaming; Commitment and Action. Some attention was given to racism and classism. Also a trans-gender person hosted a discussion on his identity.
Overall it was a good training that is geared more for middle class people with some college level experiences. Is it adaptable to grassroots communities? Can the NVC frame be used to facilitate discussion with groups of antagonists with known histories of conflict? Can a critical mass of people become practitioners of NVC to have a social change impact? I went to the training to answer question 2 above and I left with a commitment to work on question 3. An emerging effort was started to form a nonprofit to continue building the diversity in NVC.
I came home feeling both thrilled and relieved. I was thrilled because after the first full day of the Intensive it was clear to me that the NVC approach was the approach that I have been searching for years to find. The philosophy and principles behind NVC seemed to be very simple and straightforward. NVC also seemed to be very adaptable & innovation-friendly in how it could be used to bring about clarity and connection in so many personal and social situations.
Most importantly for me, I could see NVC as being a strong catalyst for social change in the World that we inhabit. From the interpersonal level to the systems level, I could see how NVC had the potential to bring about the change we seek in the World.
On the personal level, I received a much clearer understanding of empathy. I had the opportunity to experience both receiving and giving empathy to those around me. This was very powerful. It was also very nourishing for me both spiritually and emotionally.
The participation of so many people of color was also uplifting. I believe that we ALL saw the value of taking this work into our respective communities in an effort to create powerful conversations about race/ethnicity and culture with people who have experienced these phenomena from the perspective of being oppressed.
I was relieved because throughout the Intensive, I began to see a multiplicity of ways that NVC could be adapted to fit into any context. As a result, I became very optimistic about NVC’s ability to be spread across cultures.
We discussed the White middle-class format that NVC traditionally has taken, but we also talked about how this format could be expanded to include a wide range of modalities and practices that could transmit NVC ideals effectively.
For me, this was very important because I believe that some of the most provocative work that NVC can do is around “Race, Racial Reconciliation, and Internalized Racism within Communities of Color”
The latter, “Internalized Racism within Communities of Color” especially appeals to me, and this is one area that I intend to focus on in the near future. There were quite a few others at the Intensive that also saw this issue as being critically important in bringing diversity to the NVC community.
As an activist – I see NVC work as having tremendous potential in the following ways:
a) As an effective way to engage any issue focusing first on needs and then observing the strategies that are used to meet those needs.
b) As a possible way for activists to create a common language and approach between each other, as we attempt to coalesce in alliances and collaborative efforts while moving forward our social justice agenda
c) As a way to renew, reinvigorate, heal and sustain in the face of the challenges and demands of social justice work on individuals, organizations, communities, and culture.
SantaCruz NVC which sponsored this Intensive barely broke even with the trainers receiving little financial support for their contribution. Wanting to offer support for their contributions and sustainability, we were able to raise about $1100 from 6 local people and would still like to raise another $1000 for the four trainers. Would you be willing to help us “grow” this work, and continue it in this ripe area? Please join us on Sept. 14 (Jeanne Marcus, James, Lee, and Louisa Davis, organizers) for a conversation about the intensive and the application of NVC to racial and social justice work and/or send your contributions directly to SantaCruz NVC, marked for the DC-area Diversity Team: 225 Rodney St, Santa Cruz, CA 95065